I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
