Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
