please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
