the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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