So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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