he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
