I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
