just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
