So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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