I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't deserve a penis
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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