the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
