I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
