My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
