I wish I only lived at night.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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