Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
