am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
