Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
