Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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