Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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