You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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