10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
