nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I deserve this hangover.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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