He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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