whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
