you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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