he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Randomize
