He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
