I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I fill condoms, not promises.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
