I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
