Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
