i love accidental penises.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
