what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Boobs speak an international language.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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