in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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