im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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