I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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