I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
