I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
