at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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