Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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