She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
