This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They are going to name an STD after you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
