soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
