There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
