She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
