Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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