i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
