5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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