Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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