I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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