He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
