I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
